The Tragicomedy of a “Martial” Status

Married or Single or Both? :P

Married or Single or Both? 😛

That must’ve been “Marital Status”, eh? 😛

I dont know why my brain works at a snail’s pace when I want it to work like those supercomputers up in the third floor of Google’s HQ.

But I know why my brain works almost like those supercomputers when I dont want it to work at all – empty mind, devil’s workshop or something of that sort, huh? May be.

So yeah, I was idle – idling away the time without even an idli to feed my stomach. Strange how stomach, mind, purse and everything seems to be empty at the same time.

That was when a strange analogy – yeah i think that’s the word “analogy” – hit me like a truck. (that’s just a figure of speech I wanted to use. The analogy in question never really hit me, no flash bulb suddenly glowing few inches away from my head)

Worried or Single?

Worried or Single?

Single or Married? What’s the difference other than the happiness quotient?

Let’s be naiive – very naiive – and say celibacy is one of the differences, okay?

Hey dont laugh that hard!! This is India, I am from Chennai – a comparatively conservative metropolis and yeah, I am very sarcastic at times.

But besides that, there must be something that defines – or differentiates – both, right?

I think hard, not because I am concentrating well on these things, but because there’s a martial exercise going on between a couple whose marital status would be Married had Facebook not got me confused with its huge list of relationship statuses.

Facebook Sure Knows About Relationships!

Oh yeah I get the answer.

But to understand, unfortunately, you should have been in Chennai, seen the two landmarks I am going to speak about. Well, dont worry, I will make it as clear as I can – which means you might end up understanding nothing.

Okay. Screens up on The Analogy:

Single is like the sub-way bridge near Loyola College.
Married is like the over-bridge in Kodambakkam.

Absurd though it may seem, I kind of felt it would be nice to do this analogy here – rather than in a seminar (few years in the future) where I’d be kicked out for this.

Single is living happily and then paying the price for that later. Well, yeah, that depends on how we look at it but it’s like the Loyola College sub-way, sweetheart.

You go down easily – no effort at all. Cyclists would clock 40km/hr and a crazy cyclist would overtake a share-auto. That’s the easy part. Those are the youthful days. Single and happy.

After you hit a stage where you cross the threshold of marri”age” and live the life of ‘conformed old bachelor’ (I am reminded of Prof. Pencier teaching us My Fair Lady – no he wasnt a bachelor, the character in the play was) – now, after you hit that stage, your journey becomes a bit tough. Solitude mostly, I guess. You have to climb uphill, mate.

Marriage is just the opposite – but I am just talking about the theoretical part of it guys. Anyone taking this stupid blogpost as advice and marrying that ‘right’ girl/guy would be doing so entirely at his/her own risk 😛

Marriage – the initial stages after the initial infatuated and intoxicated stages(!) – is a toughie. You gotta adjust with things you might dislike. You get to know a side of the spouse you never knew existed. You gotta compromise quickly if you want to save the marriage. Lots and lots of responsibilities. And oh my god – kids! Kids are fun as long as you’re not responsible for their behaviour for the rest of – say – ten or so years.

Yeah that last line goes out to every bloody girl I see who says ‘Oh I love kids so much!’ Oh come on, you’d hardly know what it is to raise a kid till you do that yourself in the next twenty years. Your entire existence has been twenty-odd something, so would you stop making it look as if kids are toys! 😛

So yeah, marriage is the Kodambakkam over-bridge. You climb up hard and sweaty – tough and tougher as you get up. And after that peak, it’s easy way down. If you did your job right, your marriage would probably be happy in the second stage of it. Kids would be in super-duper companies earning paychecks in lacs, you’d have been to foreign lands (where else? the same bloody story, States ku poitu vandhen, London ku poitu vandhen, Singpore ku poitu vandhen!) and all that.

After some thought, I think the analogy for marriage is kind of suspiciously ambiguous. Going down after going up.. does that ring an alarm? Oops!

An oft-quoted saying comes to my mind. I dont know if it’s George Bernard Shaw who said this, but here’s how it goes:

Marriage is like a golden cage. Those outside want to be in the cage, and those inside want to get out.

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